President Xi orders an assassination attempt on Ronaviravich’s cursed bat WuWu

The continuing saga of the Gypsy Ronaviravich, her dog Wackadoo, and her cursed bat WuWu.

China is well known for it’s ability to infiltrate the US government, universities, businesses, and hack into military and government computer data bases. Evidence of WuWu’s existence and time spent at both Harvard and the Wuhan laboratories, continues to surface. Both China and the US have tried to wipe the mere whisper of WuWu from the internet to no avail. At his whit’s end, President Xi ordered an assassination attempt on WuWu. Find WuWu and terminate him at all costs.

Coincidentally, this was the week preceding the Artic blast of cold air across the US. Not so coincidentally, WuWu employed numerous bat spies charged with bringing him news of President Xi’s plans. WuWu set out for the US immediately upon receiving the intel. WuWu hid aboard a Chinese ship carrying trade on the South China Sea. He then flew onto a US military ship where he was unknowingly transported to San Diego, via a long and circuitous route. From San Diego, California, he made his way to Austin, TX. He nearly froze his little bat wings off in the arctic temperatures but he was thankful for the frozen wind turbines. Wind Turbines usually emit a hum that confuses wildlife directional abilities. He flew straight through without getting lost or chopped up by a blade. The solar panels were all covered in snow and did not cook his poor little bat body. He also discovered that he could sleep inside the wind turbine during the day while it’s blades were frozen. WuWu made it safely to Austin, TX, where he is now living and migrating with thousands of other bats. President Xi’s assassination attempt was a complete failure.

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