Facebook Intelligence Report

During the continuing arctic blast, I’ve had nothing better to do than surf the internet. Facebook has been wildly entertaining. Here is a brief summary of the “knowledge” I have gleaned by reading Facebook for several days.

Facebook Intelligence Report

• Where ever the poster lives is the coldest it’s ever been and the coldest on the planet. Simultaneously, climate change is melting glaciers and icebergs at an astounding rate.
• Rolling power outages anger customers.
• Buttigieg’s alternative energy sources do not exist during inclement weather. Wind turbines are frozen, solar panels do not work during ice and snow storms, solar panels require the sun to shine, and frozen water does not generate electricity. Who knew?
• Buttigieg is an idiot.
• Buttigieg’s imaginary alternative energy jobs continue to pay imaginary wages.
• The oil and gas industry as well as some Native American tribes are waging war on Biden and friends. Several lawsuits have been filed regarding drilling rights, and land and mineral leases.
• Well heads and natural gas processing plants have frozen during the arctic blast. Gas companies are threatening outages because stored gas supplies are being consumed at an astronomical rate.
• Cows purposefully give birth to their calves on the coldest days of the year. Cows hate farmers and ranchers. It’s their little joke.
• Peta is not out making sure livestock is fed and watered during the current arctic blast. Peta is inside where it is warm. Peta is inside complaining about farmers and ranchers making continuous rounds in negative degree weather, snow, and ice to ensure their livestock has food and water.
• Trump was impeached twice and acquitted of all charges twice, wasting millions of tax dollars.
• Trump announced plans to get back out onto the political campaign trail.
• Trump should face criminal charges.
• Trump is innocent of all wrong doing.
• Biden intends to keep heightened security at the Capitol until the end of 2021.
• Biden and his administration are waging an all out campaign to remove guns from private ownership. There are a couple of bills coming up for votes. One involves taxes making guns and ammo unaffordable for all but the wealthy. The other involves a litany of reasons during a background check to deny gun ownership. Most Americans could easily be placed into one or more of the categories to deny gun ownership.
• Americans are not giving up or turning in their guns.
• Trump supporters still support Trump.
• Trump supporters still aren’t scared of the far left.
• Biden supporters still hate Trump.
• The media still hates conservatives.
• Teachers Union members are vacationing throughout the world while refusing to open schools because it’s too dangerous.
• Fauci is encouraging wearing two masks at the same time.
• Anti-maskers are still refusing to wear one mask let alone two.
• The Covid-19 vaccine will make you sterile, grow a third eye, grow lizard skin and a tail, and implant you with a microchip.
• The Covid-19 vaccine is completely safe even for pregnant women and children even though there have been no studies completed on pregnant women and children.
• The Covid-19 vaccine works on the new variants.
• The Covid-19 vaccine does not work on the new variants.
• Democrats are angry.
• Republicans are angry.
• Independent voters are angry.
• People who have never nor will they ever vote are angry.
• Jesus and the apocalypse are nigh.
• Jesus and the apocalypse do not exist.
• Democratic cities like Seattle and Minneapolis are discovering that defunding police was a bad idea.
• The Proud Boys and Oath Keepers are domestic terrorists while ANTIFA are peaceful protestors.
• Northern California still despises the liberals in Southern California and wants to become a separate state.
• Several conservative states have legislators who may want to drop out of the Union.
• The FBI is owned and controlled by the Democratic Party and Republican globalists.
• Biden may have a man crush on President Xi. It’s possible he has sniffed his hair.
• The US for the first time in history has a larger debt than GDP. We are on the verge of a global economic reset. Musk bought bitcoin stock. Suppositions continue that bitcoin will be the new universal digital currency.
• Americans will believe and share anything written in the form of a meme.

Jack Daniels Black Label Whiskey relieves the migraine caused by Facebook. Every Facebook user should be required to have a bottle on hand for emergency use.