Deep in a dark, damp cave somewhere in the mountains of Colorado resides an ancient gypsy lady. Her long ago forgotten name is Ronaviravich. Rona, as she was called in ancient days by those who well knew her, has been employed by the US government for over 200 years.
For the most part, Rona fills her days hand painting new tarot cards, reading tea leaves, and polishing bones used in divination. She perfects curses and she communes with the dead. Her diet consists of mostly rabbits and berries. Her dreary cave is filled with her only friends, the bats. She cares for the bats and knows them all by name. On occasion, one of her bats turns evil in spirit. When this happens, she curses them and banishes them to Wuhan, China. But, that’s a story for another time.
Every four years, the US has a Presidential Election. Every four years, Rona works night and day for months communing with the dead and casting their votes. She channels their spirit through her body. Their signature is perfection. She casts divination spells to project whom will be the next President of the US. Rona decides whose votes she will send via bat and carrier pigeon to the US Mail drop boxes. Rona has decided US elections for 200 years. It’s grueling, tiring, and thankless work. She grew weary over time.
One bright morning while sitting at the front of her cave reading the tarot cards, she sees Dominion Voting System. Being an ancient gypsy, she immediately knew how to tap into the electrical energy of Dominion and telepathically change votes to enable our best future as she sees it in her tea leaves. Rona soon discovered it is easier to ensure her desired outcome by combining communing with the dead and casting their votes via carrier bat and pigeon and then telepathically changing any remaining needed votes via the Dominion Voting System.
Ronaviravich’s job has become much easier. She now has more time to devise ways to end America as well as the world. She is tired of her job. She is old. She wants to retire. The US Government keeps raising her retirement age. Now, they’re telling her that her healthcare, social security, and retirement money has been spent. She grows angrier and more vindictive by the day. What will her anger bring us on January 20th? What has she planned for us over the course of the next four years? Only time will tell, but she seems pretty happy with herself.