One meteorite, one explosion in downtown Nashville, and one “swamp gas” from the Smoky Mountains theory.

Early Thursday morning a fiery meteorite was spotted in the skies outside of Nashville, TN. Early Christmas morning shots were reported in downtown Nashville eschewing the arrival of police. A couple of hours later, a message was being broadcast possibly from an RV sitting in front of the AT&T office building. One of the main office hubs through which data is stored and telecommunication links for 911, the airport and other essential service continuously occur. Yes, your cell phone relies on these connections to send or receive signals from correct towers or to transfer seamlessly from tower to tower without your noticing. The particular message being broadcast from the abandoned RV was to evacuate the area. There was a countdown. There were evacuations. The RV exploded. Don’t worry the FBI is on it. They have assured us that it might be intentional. MAYBE, according to the FBI, someone planned the entire event.

Meanwhile, the internet is afire with theories that the meteorite was an alien craft and is responsible for the explosion. I guess the MIB broke their flashy thingy, but here’s the story:

On Thursday morning, a meteorite landed outside of Nashville, TN. The fire from the meteor’s tail instigated a slow chemical reaction when combined with the fog from the Smoky Mountains. This induced a slow release of hallucinatory toxins into the air. The gunshots heard early Christmas morning are still in question. It is unknown whether people were shooting at imaginary space aliens, nothing at all, or if it even happened. Thus far, no evidence of gunfire has been uncovered. Complicating matters further, there was a gas line with a leak in downtown Nashville, TN near the front of the AT&T building. While suffering hallucinations and lighting his bong inside an RV sitting directly above the gas leak, a stoned hippy blew up his own RV. His body was instantly incinerated. The explosion was much larger than normal due to the combination of the chemical reaction caused by the meteorite and fog, and the gas leak under the RV in question. There was no broadcast. This was mass hallucination from the chemical reaction previous to the RV explosion. However, the FBI and ATF are thoroughly investigating the scene to ensure that no illegally purchased guns were used in any possible shootings, which may or may not have happened.

You might as well go with my version of the story because whatever “truth” we will be told after the FBI investigation, will be no more factual.

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