Man Posturing: The Puffy Chest

Puffy chest posturing defined:

A type of male posturing used by men for a variety of reasons in various social settings. Puffy chest can be recognized by the immediate intake of breath, puffing out of the chest, lowering of the voice, rigid stance, chin drawn inward, and loud speaking voice. Usually the arms are no longer rested against their body. The elbows tend to point outwards. Generally, men are leaning a little forward and standing as tall and domineering as possible. It’s supposed to be an intimidating or authoritative posture but is more often than not a defensive posture. Sometimes the face turns red during puffy chest. My personal belief is a lack of oxygen to the brain is caused by puffy chest. Every word uttered after assuming this posture is complete garbage. Men and women do not respond to puffy chest in the same manner.

Being a woman, I cannot speak as to why men do this around each other. Alpha male fight? I have no idea. My ten year old son has learned the puffy chest from school, friends, tv, or someplace. It’s very entertaining for me. He tried it on me a few days ago. I laughed at him the same as I do grown men. It’s not convincing and it’s not intimidating. It’s clearly posturing. Men, stop using this on women. It doesn’t work. If you had something worth saying, we are no longer listening. We are trying not to laugh until you go away. We are trying not to embarrass you by laughing in your face. We know you are posturing and just full of crap. We listen to you when using the puffy chest the same as when you are telling your latest fishing story. We nod our head and say really? Wow. OK. I didn’t know. You’re so smart. Yes, I’ll get right on that. Whatever we need to say to make you go away so that we can get back to whatever it was we were doing before puffy chest arrived. You often get eyerolls by women when you turn your back after using puffy chest. And laughter. There is a lot of laughter after you leave. Some women get really angry when men use this form of posturing. I don’t. I am just entertained by the puffy chest. Sometimes it’s kind of cute which is definitely NOT the result you are looking for. If you want to be heard, respected and believed by a woman, puffy chest is the incorrect posture. If you’re trying to intimidate or impress, puffy chest is ineffective on women for these things also. Please, stop using puffy chest on women if you want to be taken seriously. We do not respond the same way as men apparently do. It’s sometimes cute, entertaining, or downright annoying, but nothing that comes out of your mouth is taken seriously when you use the puffy chest on women. Seriously, reserve the puffy chest for other men, unless of course your goal is simply to make us smile.