Murder hornets in the US. Now I understand toilet paper hoarding.

If we do not practice staying indoors in the US, we are now being threatened by Japanese Murder Hornets. The state of Washington has documented their presence. I doubt they stay in Washington. I doubt we contain them anymore than we have contained Rona. US citizens will not stay indoors. We continue to gather in large numbers. Most of us won’t wear a mask. But, we have already hoarded the solution to all of our problems. Toilet paper. I know you have a closet full. We need Bill Gates to fund a study of how many inches of toilet paper one needs in order to be fully wrapped and protected from the sting of the Murder Hornet. I think the quilted brands may offer more protection. I would shy away from anything colored, scented, or with lotion as this might attract the Murder Hornets. Do not smoke while wearing your toilet paper as you will be highly flammable. Do not forget to properly wrap your children and the elderly. I am unsure as to what the fine will be for not thoroughly wrapping and protecting ourselves, but I’m sure our government will tell us shortly. If you get arrested for failure to prevent swarming and attacks on the general public due to insufficient coverage, be sure and claim it rained, the neighbors had their sprinkler on, or someone attacked you with a bottled water.

Expect updates about insurance coverage and reserving ambulances specifically for attacks in your neighborhood or while travelling after the Rona quarantine ends.


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