There are days when the world can seem overwhelming because we are constantly surrounded by fake everything. People watch mainstream media, online media and social media continuously it seems. Is any of it real, unbiased, or without an agenda? Very little it seems. We have almost gotten to the point that real people, news, friends, and relationships are so foreign to us that we don’t even know how to respond when it’s staring us in the face. We get offended, defensive, or assume the person is lying to be hateful or for personal gain. We cannot hardly even get a picture of a friend that isn’t photoshopped and fake. It’s unhealthy and out of control. And we wonder why marriages and personal relationships do not last? Everything is so completely fake we don’t know how to respond and enjoy things that are real anymore. Everything is disposable and replaceable including people. We seem to value nothing except the next adrenaline rush or gossip thread.
What do I do when I feel like that? I go hang out with my 10 year old son. Kids are pretty honest and real if you haven’t taught them differently. Kids give back exactly what they receive. Kids are a gift that we should cherish and put first. Can they wear us out and make us question our sanity? Yes. Do we need a break from our kids to have adult time? Yes. They need a break from us to have kid time with other kids too. But, kids are real. They reflect and mimic whoever and whatever is around them. Be careful who you let around your kids. It matters. Who their friends are matters. Kids who are bullies usually learn it at home or from an adult who is regularly in their lives. They’re just reflecting what they learned at home. That’s partly why bullies are so difficult for schools to handle.
What about when I am adulting? That’s a whole different ballgame.
I don’t date people who have a phone full of airbrushed 18 year old naked girls on their phone. I don’t date people who have a list of backup girlfriends that they are just “friends” with. There’s a difference between friends and backup girlfriends. Women do the same. I have nothing against the airbrushed girl if you’re not old enough to be her dad. When you’re old enough to be her dad and that’s what you prefer to surround yourself with, you aren’t looking for an actual partner in life. You aren’t there yet. You have some growing up left to do. In short, if I actually invest emotionally and with my time, I expect it to be real and possibly leading somewhere.
I don’t call people friends who are not friends. Those people in your lives who are negative about anything and everything you do are not your friends. Those people who immediately respond with you can’t do that before you have even finished telling them what you’re thinking about, are not your friends. They do not want you to succeed. Sometimes the worst ones are family members. Tolerate them and nod your head and go do your thing. Your best interest is not what they’re looking our for anyway. On the flip side, a real friend will tell you when you’re just being an idiot. There’s a difference between looking at things objectively and being negative about everything you do. It’s a huge difference. Clean your friendship house if you’re only getting negative feedback with zero suggestions on anything useful that might actually make you happy instead of the fake friend. Honestly, people like that are happy when they make others miserable. Then they can compare themselves to you and say look how much better I am than they are. Not your friends. Not anyone’s friend. These people usually live on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. They read people’s posts, take screen shots, and send them to other people so they can gossip. Bottom feeders. Friends listen to you, support you, and enjoy talking and spending time with you.
Politics and the media. I try to watch and listen to both sides. That’s about all any of us can do. Memes are not usually factual. Take them as they are. They’re just a meme someone made to make a point. Do not take any of them as factual or literal. Once you do that, most of them are quite entertaining.
I am very direct and honest as often as I can be. Yes, I will on occasion tell the white lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or just get someone to move on down the road. I really do live in the moment when it comes to feelings of any kind. If I like or love something or someone, I tell them. If something makes me mad, I voice my opinion. If something is just ridiculous, I am going to say it’s ridiculous. I am a lot for some people to handle. Here’s the thing. I don’t dwell on anything. I don’t hold grudges. I don’t hate anyone. Why? When I speak the truth of what I feel or think, I’ve given it away. I voiced my opinion. Take it or leave it. Argue with it. Do whatever you need to do, but when the conversation is over I am done with it. I’ve moved on. I gave away the feelings and thoughts when I voiced them and talked about them. Women are verbal. I am a woman. Speak the truth. Be real. Pass it on.