We have all seen the child we knew from day one is gay or a lesbian. We just knew. It was obvious from how they played, what they liked, and how they responded to circumstances in their environment and other children. We don’t like to talk about it much if we are Christians. The Bible tells us this is a sin. Most Christians believe babies are born innocent and free from sin. How does that work anyway? Did God choose that particular challenge for that particular soul? I am sure that I do not have the answer. Most Christians spend their entire life trying to get that child to be heterosexual. Nothing has proven effective long term. We are whoever we were born to be. We can choose our behaviors throughout our lives. We can change our appearance. Life can change our views and thought processes. We aren’t really able to change who we actually are.
My own son arrived as the epitome of a stereotypical, heterosexual, male baby. There has never been any doubt. At all. Ever. I never guided him towards boy colors and toys or activities. That’s just where he went. He did, however, like the colors pink and purple. He still likes pink and purple. He remains annoyed because they are considered girl colors. He will on occasion choose something pink or purple for himself. Thankfully, our school colors are purple and white. Purple gets a free pass. Did I ever worry or make a big deal out of this? No. His favorite color has changed from lime green, to red, to orange, to his current electric blue. He likes bright happy colors. He has drooled over women’s boobs since the day he was born. He had his first crush on a girl in daycare when he was three. She was adorable. His behavior as a child with a crush is totally different than that of an adult. He just knew what he was attracted too. He didn’t know what an adult would do about an attraction nor did he care. He just wanted to look at boobs on tv or on grown women in the grocery store and have the girl talk to him and be his friend. That’s as far as it went. Then he wanted to go play ball or with a nerf gun with boys. At one point, he discovered he could wear my shoes around the house and act like a grown up. They were easier to put on than his own. They made him taller. They were mine. Did he ever want to cross dress? No. Did I worry about the shoe thing? No. Did I make a big deal out of the shoe thing? No. It made me laugh because he was always acting silly when he put on my shoes. When he was three, we were out feeding chickens with a friend of mine. A rooster as tall as he was decided to try to peck and attack him. My son straight punched that rooster in the head. There was a smackdown in the making and that rooster was going down. Yeah, he is pretty much all stereotypical boy. When there is an adult male around or other boys are around he acts more masculine. When it’s just me or a girl, he is more relaxed, lets his feelings show and is more affectionate. Adult heterosexual men act the same way. Adult men crack me up more than my own son. You all act differently when there are other men around. I’m sure women are the same.
My point with the story about my son is that we know who are children are if we are paying any attention. We know that our children change from day to day. We know our children act differently according to which parent they are with. Kids want to impress their parent and get their attention and approval. It’s the same with other adults and children our kids are around. Their behavior will reflect whomever they are trying to impress.
So what do we do when a child is simply not interested in the behaviors and expectations placed on the gender matching the sex with which they were born? What do we do when a child dresses in dresses with mom and jeans and boots when he is with dad? We want our children to grow up with self esteem and self respect and be comfortable with who they really are. Most of us want our children to identify with the sex in which they were born. It makes life a whole lot less complicated and challenging. It makes life easier. Most people traditionally teach their child to live as the sex in which they were born regardless of gender dysphoria. They try and teach their child to be able to function successfully within our society. What do we do when the child becomes so unhappy they have no friends, are failing in school, and become suicidal? We have to face the real issue as a parent. Our child may not be the person society has told them they are supposed to be. We have to help them deal with reality.
I don’t believe that medical procedures have any place in a developing child as far as gender dysphoria is concerned. The long term effects of hormone replacements when given to children are unknown. A child is not equipped to decide if they want to have their own biological child as an adult. The child is still developing physically and emotionally. When the child is grown, then they can make life changing decisions for themselves. Children are not medical or big pharma experiments. I read an article recently about a doctor in Dallas, TX who specializes in transgender surgeries and is counseling people that removing breasts from teenagers is not a big deal because they can always have breast implants later. Would those be the breast implants that have a limited lifespan? They all have a limited lifespan. They are synthetic. They do not contain milk producing glands in order to nurse a baby. It is a big deal. Any doctor should understand that it is a big deal unless they are just out to make money. There is a monetary agenda at work right now coming from medical practitioners and big pharma.
I can see where performing medical procedures as early as possible on a developing child would enable the child’s body to develop closer to the gender in which they identify. I understand that argument but still disagree. We do not know long-term medical effects. We do not know that the child won’t change their mind later about what they want. We aren’t seeing good results long-term on adults who have had transgender surgeries. I completely disagree with the current trend on transgender children. I think children are better served to learn to cope with the reality of their own body until they are old enough to decide for themselves. That age is 18 as far as I am concerned. If you aren’t mature enough to be financially responsible for yourself, sign legal contracts, be accountable for your own bills, vote, get married, have legal rights, or be tried in court as an adult for your actions, then you aren’t old enough to decide to have life altering surgery. Just my opinion.