Facebook Madness: The Lake of Insanity

Facebook Madness should be the next mental illness added to the DSMV-5. What happens to normally rational people when they get onto Facebook? “Hey look! There’s a big Lake of Insanity. Hold my beer while I jump in head first naked.”

The above picture is one my son took of me last summer at Lake MacDonald in Glacier National Park. It is not the Lake of Insanity. In fact, there is virtually no signal to even use your phone throughout most of the park and that area. My son and I took a week’s vacation off the grid. It was wonderful! Now, four months later……

Signs and symptoms of Facebook Madness (FBM):

  • Finding fault with 🐈 pictures. 
  • Finding fault with 🐕 pictures. 
  • Calling,texting, or messaging friends and relatives over a mutual friends post. 
  • Obsessing over a friend’s posts, friends, contacts, comments or activities.
  • Worrying about what someone else will think if you post something.
  • Getting offended by posts not even about you.
  • Assuming every post on your feed is about you because Everything must be about you right?
  • Telling others what they can and cannot post on their page, because that’s somehow your business and you are now the FB 🚔 👮‍♀️. You believe you are just that important. 
  • Posting nothing personal or nothing at all while criticizing others on your feed. 
  • Checking your phone every five minutes for new posts, likes, or comments.
  • Checking continuously to see who is active on FB. 
  • Getting angry every time you log on.
  • Getting jealous of other’s good fortune.
  • Pointing out others faults. 
  • Comparing others to yourself in a negative way so that you can feel better about yourself. 
  • Believing everything you read.
  • Assuming what someone posts is their entire life. 
  • Finding fault with pictures of any of the following:🐭🐷🐰🐝🐸🦅🦋🐴🐌🦄……a leprechaun 🍀…….looking for something to find fault with. 
  • Believing everyone should have the same sense of humor as you. 
  • Being continuously shocked about what is on your feed. 
  • Feeling depressed, a sense of doom, or generally moody after logging on. 

Please note that this is not a complete list. There are many additional secondary symptoms. Do not panic if you only exhibit a few of the listed symptoms as this is normal. Consider unplugging and going off the grid for a reset if any or all of the symptoms persist. 

I’m thinking skiing in February…..


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