There was no internet porn and nude or mostly nude calendars when the Bible was written. However, if you actually read the Bible, it’s pretty clear that porn isn’t something God approves for men or women. Neither are calendars of mostly nude or nude 18 year old GIRLS. Strip clubs, prostitutes, hook-ups etc are all sins for men as much as women. You don’t get to indulge in all of this and splash it everywhere, hit on girls your daughter’s, niece’s, or grandkid’s age and then blame the media for young women and girls not acting like you think they should. You just showed them how they should be acting. Christian religions teach girls to let the man be the leader, role model, and provider and to follow where he leads. Girls learn in church their primary goal is to serve God. They learn that serving God usually includes getting married and raising children. Little girls play with dolls and learn to nurture and meet other’s expectations and needs. To be blunt, women and girls naturally follow boys and men and compete for their attention in order to find a husband and eventually have children. I know I just pissed off every feminist on the planet. The reality is that you can do all of these things, still have a career, and other interests. The reality is that most men want a wife and kids too.
So what are we telling our girls and millennial women that men want? What are men showing them that they want on a daily basis? Hookers and porn stars. That’s the short and most accurate answer. You cannot look anywhere without seeing a picture of an extremely young mostly naked or completely naked girl. Who is buying and looking at the young girls and porn? Men. That’s the role models you are. Girls look to men to see how they treat their mother and women. Girls marry their fathers and boys marry their mothers. It’s an old but true saying. Don’t flirt with and drool on teenage girls if you’re a grown man. Generally the teenager will be nice because she has no idea how to respond to a 30+ year old man hitting on her. Yes, she knows you’re flirting. She’s not interested and you’re totally a gross old man to her unless she’s a hooker or a stripper and you’re paying her. She’s still not interested in you. Only your money. I am more than a little tired of hearing how the media has ruined women and girls. The media only sells and produces what the consumers want and buy.
Porn is made for men. Any woman who has ever watched porn, will tell you that if she’s even a little bit honest and not simply trying to tell you what you want to hear. Usually porn has the ugliest man they can find and a bunch of pretty very young women. If you want to see good looking men, you have to watch gay porn. Yes, I’ve watched plenty of porn in my lifetime. It doesn’t offend me and in fact, it often makes me laugh. Not the goal most men have in mind. Straight women are not turned on by or want to have sex with other women. Giving a man a blowjob is not foreplay. I could go on but you get the point. Straight porn is made for men and is nothing more than men’s fantasies etc. Why be offended? The problem is that we have a whole bunch of men who have learned how to have sex and how women should behave and respond to sex by watching porn. Or they’ve developed every sexually repressed hang up you can imagine when it comes to having sex with a woman they care about. At least lesbian porn throws out there a couple of things women like. Women like sex too if the man actually learned how and that it’s not just his fantasy and what he likes. Sorry men but it’s not all about you. Our culture is not teaching men or women that anything about women is valuable to them except pleasing a man in bed. Men expect women to look and act like the 18 year old porn star forever. Our culture is teaching men their behavior is ok because they are men. It’s ok for them to go to the strip club, pay for a prostitute, watch porn, and go to the bar to hit on women even when they are married and leave their wife at home to raise their kids. Because they’re just being men, it’s ok for them. No, it isn’t. It’s no different than women behaving that way. The media has only shown women and girls how men act and what they are showing they want by their behavior. Women and girls are responding by giving them what they want. Men are unhappy because they’re busted on their own behaviors. Men want to behave like they’re single forever and have their wife stay home and raise their kids. Well, sorry but that’s not working out so well is it? If your girlfriend or wife is no more important to you than a prostitute, she’s probably not going to be loyal to you. Why would she?
Boys and men watch porn and spend time on the internet looking at girls. Their expectations of their girlfriends and wives are that of a porn star and not a woman. Men and boys are dating the one who is the hottest and will give them sex. They cheat and leave their wives or girlfriends when someone hotter and younger comes along. Women and girls are responding in kind. Girls and women hear and read boys and men’s comments all day everyday. What are these comments? At least republican women are hot, I’m not dating her if she doesn’t put out, send me naked pictures etc. Rarely does anyone read or hear comments after a debate about what a woman says or her intelligence if she is pretty. It’s not just online. It’s in your conversations with each other in front of women and girls. We expect it and we tolerate it when we should be calling you out on it. Those are the first things our daughters hear and read from male role models. Women should be calling you out. We aren’t. Women absolutely need to expect more, behave better, and demand better. Women are responsible for their own actions and have definitely failed in this too.
As a result, we have single women everywhere raising children. These single women are learning in church and from society that they need a husband or they cannot survive and raise their kids. Women are marrying the first available man instead of the right man to provide for them because of religious expectations and financial needs. It invariably blows up and on to yet another man. The children in these homes are learning their mom is a “throw away” girlfriend/woman and that they come second to whatever man just walked through their front door. Single men do the same thing when raising kids. Find the nearest woman to do it for them. The millenials on down in age have no idea what an actual marriage should be or how to treat one another. They’re in it for themselves. Women and men alike. These adults and kids have zero self esteem and are angry. It’s not discipline they are lacking. It’s role models who care about them and about themselves.
Yes, the media is a problem in that it has made lack of morals and values mainstream. It has made porn and nude photos available to people who are not equipped to understand or process what it actually is. Sometimes it’s sex trafficking. The base problem though is the media is only providing what our society is consuming. Media is merely reflecting who and what we are. Honestly, I have no issue with porn or nude calendars etc when they are viewed by adults who see them for what they are. Does the 40 year old man looking at the 18 year old honestly believe she’s attracted to him? Only if he is an idiot. I would rather see a married man, with an 8 month pregnant wife not wanting to have sex, watch porn than cheat. I would rather date or have a relationship with a man who will watch porn with me if we get bored with sex with each other than cheat. Let’s face it. Sex with the same person for years can get boring. A little porn can be conducive to conversations about things you both might like etc. Everyone is a little different when it comes to sex and how they get turned on or like to be touched and treated. I am not against porn at all if you’re not an idiot. I am against porn as a replacement for sex education. I am against porn as being the role model for our behavior. I am against porn being easily accessible to kids especially with no adult conversations about what they are seeing.
Christian men need to step up and be leaders and role models. You might be surprised at the women who will follow. They’re following your lead right now with the media and their behavior. Should they be? No.
There are men and women out there including millenials who are great role models in their marriages and relationships. They’re just few and far between.
Middle of the Muddy Road 